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When Consciousness Fragments - A Personal Encounter with Stage Fright in Performance

The impact of physiological and psychological stage fright on an actor’s present-tense experience of a performance – not to mention their anticipated experience of any future performances – can be devastating, if not crippling. “Fragmented consciousness and stage fright” begins with the examination of an autobiographical example of stage fright, unpacking it in terms of its sequence of unconscious and conscious events. The intention behind the chapter is very specific. Few actors openly talk about stage fright, and yet the majority experience it in varying degrees. By bringing it into a scholarly forum and exploring its physiological nature, Merlin intends to ‘look the demons in the eye’ and diffuse their potency. Referencing Antonio Damasio’s insights into the nature of consciousness and linking them to Stanislavsky’s amateur understanding of ‘dual consciousness’, Merlin addresses the necessary balance between an actor’s awareness of self (as a technical performer) and the presentation of character (in a play). The abyss into which the actor may fall when consciousness fragments indicates the fragile nature of creating live performance.